that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
