the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
