Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
