i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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