we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
