I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
