last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
