You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
