oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
