hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize