Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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