I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
