Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
