I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
