hotel room ftw
This house was built for laser tag.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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