The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
