i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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