There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
