Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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