i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This house was built for laser tag.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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