I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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