Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
