either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
