i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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