Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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