We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
