I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
