Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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