First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
not ubering you a puppy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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