I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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