wakey wakey hands off snakey
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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