he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
