forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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