found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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