Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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