You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
