My Higher Power is John Stamos
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
