i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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