is your mom at the bar?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
