You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well I just put wine in my tea
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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