fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
