i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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