one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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