I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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