dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
