We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
