SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
