also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
