I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude i'm inner monologue high
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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