Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize