Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
