too bad you live with your parents still
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
