bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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