Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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