It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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