just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
