can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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