let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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