How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
