Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
