drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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