have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
