i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it was like eating out sand paper
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
