How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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