So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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