so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
