Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize