I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
