I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Actions speak louder than pants.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
