I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize