we have officially lost it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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