she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
