i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
