update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
