You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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