I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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