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So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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