Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
