Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This toilet bowl is my home.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
