I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
