I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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