just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
