One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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