They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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