I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
