Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize