I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
