My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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