it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
