When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You made out with two different species that night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
